Bangkok Top 10

So far I have:

1. Managed to get through customs without the need for gloves or an unhealthy interest in the contents of my bag
2. Have avoided a group of scammers who took a like to my eBay man-bag and circled me in some sort of pincer movement. Luckily I managed to side step them and their evil plan to take over the contents on my bag (and the world) and retreated towards the air conditioned safety of a 7-11 where you can depressingly buy Heat magazine.
3. Have eaten watermelon, pineapple and mango in the street. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier...
4. Seen lots of golden buddhas and one particularly massive one who was having a rest.
5. Had one gun pointed at me by a Thai Soldier who disliked my attempt to enter a closed garden.
6. Had a thai foot massage. The lady genuinely seemed impressed at my size 11s as she tickled the hairs on my big toe. It currently feels though like I have no feet - which is kinda odd as walking up the Kho San Road barefoot is strangely not one of the top 10 tips in the trusty (albeit photocopied) Lonely Planet.
7. Have ridden in the Tuk Tuks without losing any limbs.
8. Have sunk 3 Singha beers and then wobbled.
9. Have been chatted up by a gay waiter and asked to comment on his 38 inch widescreen TV.
10. Have taken an imodium instead of a malaria tablet. I am currently unable to shit mosquitos.